Before COVID-19, I often thought about things I would do with my daughters if I had more time, like camping in the backyard or reading an extra story at bedtime. But when I did have the time during one of NYC’s many school breaks, my first thought was, “I wonder what time we’re going to take them to Wito and Wita’s (their grandparents) house.” Then COVID-19 happened, and everything changed. Instead of manifesting some of those ideas into reality, I spent my time worrying about my job security (I am an office experience manager after all!).
My husband and I were so consumed with fear, anger and sadness that we didn’t see our six and two year old daughters’ lives were turned upside-down, too. So, we panicked and backfilled those 10 hours with brain-rotting, eyesight-destroying digital babysitters named, “TV” and “Tablet.” The four of us had spent more time at work or school, daycare and aftercare than at home with each other. Two months later, my husband and I are both grateful and decided to switch our mindset away from worry. Both of us are still employed and it’s more important to maintain our sanity and that of our children, than anything else.
Is it possible to homeschool a first-grader whose number one fan is her two year old sister? Of course it is! Anything is possible, right? Instead of sharing tips that don’t help your family at all, here are a couple of our biggest struggles and reflections as a note of encouragement to anyone who may also still be struggling, partnered or alone, parent or not.
Many, many thanks to the senior management team at Kustomer for allowing me to have these stories to tell, and if you, Maya and Suna, read this, please forgive Mommy for embarrassing you. 😂
We Call It Mess, But They Call It Art
Two year old Maya was proud and excited to show me her permanent drawing on the wall of our rented apartment. I called her “bad for drawing on the walls because [she] should have known better.” It wasn’t until the tears started falling that I realized that I was the one who should have known better. Where was I when she got the marker? Why didn’t I look when I smelled the fresh Sharpie ink from the marker she was so diligently using to draw and fill in a 6-inch circle?
Longer story short, I was M-A-D but I remembered that she was exercising her creativity. Who cares how many Magic Erasers I had to use to clean it? Maya had to practice somewhere and she decided to improvise, which is also a life skill! Now we have markable surfaces for her in every room with pieces of recycled cardboard or brown paper bags, and we spend time practicing other shapes, with washable markers.
It’s Okay to Get (and Be) Frustrated
After almost 32 years of life, it never dawned on me how challenging it could be to look at the time and know it’s 12. I don’t mean the concept of noon or midnight, but simply 12 o’clock. Suna, six years old, nailed the analog clock in our first lesson. She knows it’s wherever-the-hour-hand-is o’clock when the minute hand is on 12. But after two math workshops and watching the same YouTube video about digital clocks three times, I felt my body go numb when she looked at the time in her math book and excitedly said, “Twelve hundred.” Be patient, be kind, and lend a helping hand to your kids (or other creatures in your home) whenever you can find the time.
I think we can all agree it’s been an interesting — and hectic — couple of months. Juggling work and the kids has felt like an extreme sport, right? The lesson here is: don’t stress! Your children will learn new things, even if it’s not exactly on the school worksheet. They’ll drive you crazy sometimes, and that’s ok too! Just try to keep up with the basics, create a flexible routine, read a lot and spend time playing with them (better if it’s outside!). We are all doing the best that we can in these uncertain times. You are making it work, and that’s all that matters.